MORE THAN A LITTLE MISTAKE

While speaking at a press conference in Phoenix today John McCain showed off his foreign policy expertise by talking about the relationship between Russia and Czechoslovakia:

"I was concerned about a couple of steps that the Russian government took in the last several days. One was reducing the energy supplies to Czechoslovakia. Apparently that is in reaction to the Czech’s agreement with us concerning missile defense, and again some of the Russian now announcement they are now retargeting new targets, something they abandoned at the end of the Cold War, is also a concern. So we see the tensions between Russia and their neighbors, as well as Russia and the United States are somewhat increasing."

With all the gaffs he's had in recent months it's nice to see him working on an obvious weak point. But here's the thing:

Czechoslovakia hasn't been a country for 15 years!!!

I've tried to stay away from political discourse for a few years, but it's election season, and John McCain't just doesn't have the marbles to lead this country let alone zip his own fly. He just doesn't.

Look - I liked the guy, and I would have voted for him in the past, but he's losing his mind, and for someone who has spent the last 20 years in the Senate he seems to have picked up no real knowledge about the world. If 7 1/2 years of ignorance in the White House hasn't been enough for you, and you're looking forward to at least 4 more years - fuck you. Say what you want about Obama, but at the very least - he's informed. And at this point that's good enough for me.

AMEN BROTHER

"Turn off the TV set, put the video game away. Buy a little desk or put that child at the kitchen table. Watch them do their homework. If they don't know how to do it, give them help. If you don't know how to do it, call the teacher. Make them go to bed at a reasonable time. Keep them off the streets. Give them some breakfast. Come on! And since I’m on a roll, if you're child misbehaves in school, don't cuss out the teacher! Do something with your child!"

Barack Obama

ONE MORE REASON TO TURN OFF THE TV

I gladly count myself among a small group of people who have decided to shun cable television. I had honestly though about turning cable back on after 4 years, but thanks to the bullshit ESPN is pulling I think I'll keep sticking to reading books and downloading culturla.

I understand that people are in business to make money. I get it and I am a supporter of capitalism, and as such I have choices as to where my money goes. I try to spend my money at locally owned businesses as much as possible. Not because I think I'm too good to shop at WalMart but because, as a capitalist, I feel it is my responsibility to do what I can to ensure alternative sources of supply. And one of those choices is to spend my money at the local used book store instead of paying for cable.

ESPN has decided that showing spelling bee's and poker isn't enough. Now they'll be showing Major League Gaming.

WTF?!?!?! It's bad enough that people spend time in front of the idiot box watching other people on "reality" television and that kids waste away while trying to master Halo, but this is just fucking retarded. Now people will be able to watch other people play video games on television. Again I ask - WTF?!?!?!

Since when are video games sports and video gamers athletes?
Oh that's right -
THEY'RE FUCKING NOT!!!

So I extend a big THANK YOU to the BooYaa Network for playing their part in the continued dumbing down of this country. Well done guys. Well done indeed.

CLEMENS COMES CLEAN

QUESTION OF THE DAY

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"The banks and corporations that will grow up around [the banks] will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs."

Thomas Jefferson

UNDER PRESSURE

AWESOME.

JUST AWESOME.

50 MOST LOATHSOME OF 2007

The Beast has just released it's list of the 50 Most Loathsome People in America for 2007. Let's take a look at #9:

You

Charges: You believe in freedom of speech, until someone says something that offends you. You suddenly give a damn about border integrity, because the automated voice system at your pharmacy asked you to press 9 for Spanish. You cling to every scrap of bullshit you can find to support your ludicrous belief system, and reject all empirical evidence to the contrary. You know the difference between patriotism and nationalism -- it's nationalism when foreigners do it. You hate anyone who seems smarter than you. You care more about zygotes than actual people. You love to blame people for their misfortunes, even if it means screwing yourself over. You still think Republicans favor limited government. Your knowledge of politics and government are dwarfed by your concern for Britney Spears' children. You think buying Chinese goods stimulates our economy. You think you're going to get universal health care. You tolerate the phrase "enhanced interrogation techniques." You think the government is actually trying to improve education. You think watching CNN makes you smarter. You think two parties is enough. You can't spell. You think $9 trillion in debt is manageable. You believe in an afterlife for the sole reason that you don't want to die. You think lowering taxes raises revenue. You think the economy's doing well. You're an idiot.

Exhibit A: You couldn't get enough Anna Nicole Smith coverage.

Sentence: A gradual decline into abject poverty as you continue to vote against your own self-interest. Death by an easily treated disorder that your health insurance doesn't cover. You deserve it, chump.

So while we mindlessly drift through life let us not forget that the world we create now is the world we are leaving to the children. Let's hope that in 2008 we put an end to the no-lube-ass-reaming we are bestowing on future generations.

We should all just go fuck ourselves - we've earned it.

ARE YOU SMARTER THAN AN 8TH GRADER?

Well, it's nice to know that I'm at least as smart as an 8th grader. But since we're raising a generation of morons I don't think it means that much.

I'M SOMEBODY NOW

AWARD WINNING ART

The Clio Awards, which celebrates art in advertising, just released this years winners list, and the Grand Clio is worth checking out. It's an advertising campaign for 42 Below Vodka, and a few of them are just outstanding.

I tend to find most advertising degrading and worthless, but instead of going off on a bitter tangent I'll let this stand on it's own. It's good stuff.

IT'S NOT HARD TO UNDERSTAND

WEEKEND QUOTES

You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives it assimilated conformists.
Abbie Hoffman

You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.
Booker T. Washington

It's become appallingly clear that our technology has
surpassed our humanity.
Albert Einstein

THE STATE OF AMERICAN POLITICS

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!

I will never cease to be amazed by the utter ignorance that pervades society.

Never.

A FAMILY TREE WITH FEW BRANCHES

I've tried to steer away from political ranting around here because it's always so negative. But with the next Presidential election starting to heat up I will take some time to point out a few things about current or potential candidates. So here's a little piece of info about Rudi Giuliani. He of the THREE wives and one known mistress. Did you know that his first wife was also his cousin.

Uh...well Obama smokes so I guess that's something too.

EARLY AWARDS

I know it's only February, but it's time to start handing out nominations for year end awards.

My first nomination is for the coveted Disgusting Pig of the Year Award, and the nomination goes out to Ann Biglan, who seems to enjoy surrounding herself with garbage. I think the story tells it all.

My second nomination is for the always competitive Boot to the Head Award which is bestowed upon the person most deserving of a swift kick to the head. This years early front runner is known only as Treysdad. You see, Treysdad got a cell phone bill for more than $7200 and was shocked to learn that it was legit. How does someone rack up over $7200 worth of cell phone bills? Why don't we let Treys dad tell us how:

"Of course I am all giddy because they have made an error right? Well, to my surprise they didn't. The guy on the phone is looking at my bill and tells me that most of the charges are from third parties. I'm like wtf? He says that although I may have unlimited text messages, the texts I am sending and receiving carry additional charges. Basically when I send a text to get my horoscope, they are registering me for some subscription for $29.99. I've sent out hundreds of those texts you see on tv. Now I'm pissed. moreso at these companies that don't tell you that you are being charged so much to get a fricken joke or something everyday. I tell the guy that I have unlimited texts and I should be able to send and receive all I want based on my text message plan."

It's just so sad that I have to let him repeat himself:

"Basically when I send a text to get my horoscope, they are registering me for some subscription for $29.99. I've sent out hundreds of those texts you see on tv."

That's right boys and girls - Treysdad is not only a moron, he's a loser too. I am at quite a loss as to exactly how many awards Treysdad should be nominated for. It's early in the year and I would be grateful for suggestions.

WHY I LOVE THE MEDIA

Jack Cafferty: Is Anna Nicole Smith still dead, Wolf?

Wolf Blitzer: Yes, We’re going to be updating our viewers shortly...

Cafferty: Can’t wait for that.

STOP BEING SO LAZY

"Ted Haggard says that he is now completely heterosexual after attending an intensive, three-week counseling program. You hear that, gay people? Three weeks! Stop being so lazy." Seth Meyers, SNL

TODAYS ECOMINICS LESSON

"Since we cut taxes a second time in 2003, we've added 7.4 million new jobs. Tax cuts equaled new jobs." George Bush, Feb 6, 2007 Manassas, VA.

Clinton raised taxes on the super-rich and created 24 million new jobs.

Study hard, there will be a test next year.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1737 - Thomas Paine, political essayist (Common Sense, Age of Reason) was born, and wrote all about something that seems to be in very short supply these days.
1788 - Australia Day declared giving criminals the respect that they felt they'd earned.
1834 - President Jackson orders 1st use of US troops to suppress a labor dispute because back them people still believed you get what you earn - not what felt entitled to receive.
1843 - William McKinley(R) 25th President(1897-1901) was born in Niles Ohio. Yea, I don't know where it is either. But I do know that he was shot by Leon Frank Czolgosz in 1901.
1850 - Henry Clay introduces a comprise bill on slavery to US Senate. It may not sound like much, but The Compromise of 1850 is a fascinating piece of American history.
1936 - 1st players elected to Baseball Hall of Fame-Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner, Christy Mathewson & Walter Johnson.
1944 - 285 German bombers attack London and America decides that it might finally be time to help.
1956 - H.L. Mencken US essayist/critic/satirist (Smart Set), dies in Baltimore MD at the age of 75. He was truly one of the best American journalists ever. If you've never read any of his stuff you really should. His account of the Scopes Trial is some of the best writing this country has ever seen.
1959 - Paul McGann was born. And if you don't know who he is...so I'm a dork.
1967 - Pope Paul VI and Soviet President Nikolai Podgorny conferred at the Vatican in the first meeting in history between a Roman Catholic pontiff and the head of a Communist state. And it was also the first meeting in history where a Pope told the commies that their money was just as good as Nazi money and that they'd love to do business.
1970 - Heather Graham was born in Milwaukee Wisconsin. Rollergirl = yummie.
1980 - 6 Iranian held US hostages escape with help of the Canadians. Okay - they have helped us a few times, but still...
1988 - Talks break down between Sandinistas and Contras just in time for America to step in and screw both of them. Again.
1989 - Episcopal church appoints 1st female bishop and thus begins the Great Anglican Masterbation when thousands of priest couldn't control themselves at the thought of a woman in chasubles.
1998 - Woman's Clinic in Birmingham AL bombed, 1 killed. Yea, it's always the liberals who are the violent ones.

NOTE - this has not been proofread so if there are typos - tough shit.

UNION OF THE STATES

SINGIN' THE BOOS

The celebrated tenor Roberto Alagna has given his first full explanation of why he stormed off the stage at La Scala after being booed during a performance.

I'll leave you to form your own opinions about this guy,

STUPID QUOTE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR

"The Constitution doesn’t say every individual in the United States or citizen is hereby granted or assured the right of habeas corpus. It doesn’t say that. It simply says the right shall not be suspended."

U.S. Attorney General, Alberto Gonzales

That little gem was followed up with this:

"You may be treading on your interdiction of violating common sense."

Senator Arlen Spector

OFF THE BIZMARCK

I guess since Area 102 is located near Sin City - and since I'm not shacking up with my girlfriend - I never think that a state would really do something as stupid as making illegal for unmarried couples to live together. But I would be wrong. Not only is it illegal for unmarried couples to live together in North Dakota - it's a sex crime.

Tom Freier, a spokesman for the North Dakota Family Alliance, said repealing the measure would signal that the state doesn't value marriage and the societal benefits it brings.

"If we look at the research, social science evidence suggests that living together is not a good way to prepare for marriage, or to avoid divorce," Freier said. "Cohabitating is not positive for the family, and poses a special risk for women and children."

North Dakota is one of the few states that outlaws cohabitation, which is defined as a man and woman living together "openly and notoriously" as if they were married.

It is listed as a sex crime in state law, alongside adultery and incest. There are few records of a cohabitation case being prosecuted, aside from a North Dakota Supreme Court appeal in the 1930s.

I'm so peeved by this that I have no coherent discourse to add. Now if you'll please excuse me while I openly and notoriously drop cinder blocks on my left big toe. It helps dull the pain.

Finding the Center

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